Spent some time talking with folks recently about discovering and then sharing with others a personal “LifeStory.” I’m not talking about the typical autobiography that probably has more to do with image management than actually being known. We were exploring a process through which we could grow in our awareness of the story emerging from the experiences and relationships we’ve had over the course of our lives, and then be able to share what we’ve discovered in an authentic way.
I first experienced something like this 18 years ago with a friend in a coffee shop. He asked me to tell him a little about myself, my background, etc. He wanted to know the stuff I felt like he needed to know if he were to know me. I began to rattle off the general data – year & place of birth, siblings, pets, favorite color, etc. – and came to the fact of my parents divorce. He asked me a question, a simple question that exposed some deep needs I had (and still have) for awareness … “How do you think your parent’s divorce has impacted your life?” I immediately responded with a well-rehearsed explanation of how beautifully a broken home had shaped me. I talked about learning independence, resilience, and a “can do” spirit. I’m sure I sounded like a POW describing the benefits of solitude behind enemy lines.
Fortunately, my friend didn’t let me off the hook. He invited me to see that tragedy, not through the sanitized, rationalized lens of a young man who had spent his life trying to make sense of it, but through the eyes of an eight year old boy … a boy who couldn’t understand why the two people who brought him into the world had stopped loving each other, and a boy whose dad would never again live up close and personal with him. I was undone.
It took me back to the tidal wave of emotion I had felt the morning my mom broke the news to me and my sister, the same emotion I had spent most of my life trying to avoid. It was as fresh as it could be because I had never honestly faced the pain of that loss. I’ve sense learned, wounds that go unaddressed don’t heal properly and eventually become debilitating.
LifeStory has been a process of healing … a process of seeing my life with greater honesty. The more honest I’ve been, the more aware I become and the more my life moves in a redemptive current instead of one that is dysfunctional and destructive. When I’m asked today about my life, I have a precious, authentic gift to give away instead of something that resembles a PR statement from a celebrity spokesperson. I don’t have to “spin” my life, I can simply share it and trust God to use it as He pleases.
