Into the shadow

How time flies! It’s been over four years since I posted to this blog. Sheesh! I had such grand intentions … and only five posts to show for it. Oh well, gotta live in the present, and the present is rockin our world!

Just two weeks ago, right before Christmas day, Kimberly discovered a lump in her breast. It was a surprise, but neither of us were alarmed. Call it wishful thinking, call it denial, we responded pretty casually …”probably oughta get that looked at when we get back in town.” And so we did.

Kimberly visited a local OB and went through normal mammogram and ultrasound testing to get an initial idea of what we might be facing. The radiologist showed serious concern and urged us to see a breast cancer surgeon for a biopsy to confirm whether or not the mass was malignant as he suspected. As you might imagine, sobriety set in. We scheduled the appointment and began to invite friends and family to pray with us about the threat at hand.

On Wednesday, January 4, Kimberly underwent a biopsy which confirmed that she had indeed developed breast cancer. Even as I write those words, they seem unbelievable, more fiction than non-fiction. But it is as real as anything we have experienced in our lives … and so, we step into the shadow.

Before now, the shadow seemed to represent a time when life is hard and painful, and God seems distant and silent. Yet our experience so far has been just the opposite. We have felt great comfort, grace and assurance. God’s presence has been overwhelmingly tangible … as real as anything we might touch or see. We’ve experienced His preparation, recent moments of reflection, encouragement, conviction, and renewal which brought Kimberly and me to a place of peace and rest amid the ominous intrusion of a shadow.

We’ve been awestruck by the outpouring of prayer, support, love and encouragement. The community of faith that surrounds us is truly awesome. Word has spread and God’s people have come alongside us full of faith and hope. We have been strengthened by the petitions of Christ-followers on our behalf.

Since receiving news of this disease, Kimberly began recording what she calls “Grace Places” … big and small evidences of God’s grace at work in and around us as we face this trial. She has said that as much as we would like – and are praying – for God to remove this trial, she has sensed that this is very much a path God has allowed for us, and one in which He will do wondrous things, which will ultimately bring Him profound glory.

Among the grace places Kimberly has identified, our doctors are beautiful provisions. They’ve been incredibly kind, patient, thorough, reassuring, accessible, competent … and the list could go on. We feel very fortunate to have the resources we have.

Since the 4th, we’ve learned that Kimberly’s cancer is called “mucinous carcinoma” … named for the mucous like material which surrounds the affected cells. We’ve been encouraged that this type is commonly less aggressive, more isolated, slower growing, and more responsive to treatment than most other forms. There are no guarantees, but the outlook seems to be positive despite the reality of having cancer and needing serious treatment.

We will meet with an Oncologist early next week, and will likely have Kimberly in surgery within two or three weeks. I have to say, I’ve been blown away by Kimberly’s grace and courage. She’s had a resilient peace and joy (still with fears and tears) that has been inspirational. As I heard someone recently say, she has been “heroic” … that sounds about right!

Our kids are doing well. We’ve had some great conversations, and we’re learning together to trust God with an uncertain future that we must entrust to Him. All we know is that God is good all the time … He is never inattentive to our needs, He always gives us what we need to do what He has called us to do, and He will gladly direct our steps if we will let Him. We’re praying that God will meet each of our children in this season in a special and unmistakeable way that will only strengthen their faith.

As we move forward, we are praying for a phenomenal pathology report (specific characteristics of Kimberly’s cancer) and an unmistakeable path for treatment. As we walk this path, we realize there is much that we don’t know, but we can act upon what we do know about our God and the disease we face. We are trusting God for wisdom and courage as we make new decisions every day about how to proceed. We are deeply grateful for the masses of people who have come alongside us in prayer. I’ll keep everyone informed through this blog, and together, we will see God do what only God can do.

Grace upon grace …

 

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