Fragile … Immovable

There’s nothing like the “C” word to shatter one’s feelings of security.

I strive to maintain order, minimize exposure, plan ahead, create margin, etc., all of which makes me feel secure. And I guess to some degree, those actions lend themselves to greater security than if they were absent. Nevertheless, it should be obvious to me and everyone else that security in a fallen world is never a guarantee … there’s just too much fallenness goin on. Isn’t that why we have insurance policies? For the rainy day, or the drought … the accident, the natural disaster, the disease.

So I’ve felt pretty fragile lately, like there’s a lot beyond my control, regardless of how badly I want that not to be the case. There is plenty I and Kimberly can do … read, meet with physicians, undergo treatment, and rehabilitate. But all of those are reactions to a mass that intruded, no warning, without permission, impervious to our wishes. We’re being reminded that life is less about controlling our circumstances, and more about responding to them with faith that is rooted, grounded … secure.

It seems that’s something of what Paul had in mind when he wrote in 2 Cor 4:7-10, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸ We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”

Our focus in recent days has been redirected to the surpassing power that belongs to God, not us. We are faithfully following medical procedures, but we are doing so mindful of our constant dependence upon God’s sufficient grace to keep us … not crushed, not despairing, not forsaken, not destroyed.

We met with Kimberly’s Oncologist Monday, and she was wonderful! We’re so grateful for the physicians we’ve encountered through this process. They’ve been so patient, kind, thorough, competent and reassuring. They are each answers to prayer for capable guides as we walk this path. As you pray for our situation, would you pray for them by name … Dr. Lisa White (General Surgeon), Dr. Nicholas Tarola (Plastic Surgeon) and Dr. Yanjun Ma (Oncologist). Thanks.

Though we haven’t gotten much more detail than we’ve already shared, it looks like we’re all clear for surgery in 7-10 days. We’ll let everyone know the actual date as soon as we’re able to confirm it with our doctors. The best case scenario for surgery is for the mass to be completely isolated with clear (non-cancer) margins (tissue surrounding mass), a singular form of the cancer (versus a “mixed” mass), and clear lymph nodes. We’re also praying that Kimberly will not react adversely to any of the medications used during surgery (she’s pretty sensitive to meds).

We feel fragile, but immovable as a result of God’s tangible care for us. Those who are praying for us have played an unmistakable, irreplaceable role in our journey. I’ll close with Kimberly’s recent description of how our community of faith has come alongside us in a powerful way … “My cup runneth over. There are no words. How do I say thank you to those who have locked shields with mine…who are standing guard with me? In the short time that we have been walking through this new season, there is no doubt in my mind that much of the peace, rest, hope and joy that I have enjoyed is in part due to the prayers of the saints.” Grace upon grace!

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